Sunday, July 31, 2011

a blameless soul needs no concealers.

I sit at my vanity table in front of my bedroom window. I'm getting ready for the day.  My face is freshly washed, my contacts are in.  I reach for the concealer and the mascara.  I catch a glimpse of myself in my mirror and stop.  The bright morning sunlight pours through my window and splashes across my face.  There in the sunlight, every blemish, every imperfection is brought to light.  I stop.  I think about my desire to walk in and be filled with Light.  All Light, no darkness.

I sit in the chair I laughingly refer to as my 'throne', in my room in the quiet morning.  I'm getting ready for the day.  I look into the mirror of God's Word and see the true reflection of my soul and intents of the heart.  I see my blemishes and my imperfections reflected there.  Then, sometimes, I reach for the concealer: for my bad attitude regarding a certain matter, I put on silence, hoping it won't leak through.  For my impatience, I put on, well, usually silence again, hoping my frustration doesn't show to any onlookers.  For my unkindness, I hate it if my family sees it sometimes, but I certainly don't want anyone else to see it- I might conceal an ungracious heart with a smile in front of strangers.  But, when the Light shines bright and unforgiving, it exposes all my heart, all the blemishes.

I turn back to my physical appearance; it's a sad thing that I won't be blemishless on this side of heaven, I think to myself.  I reach again for the concealer.  But there is no reason I should not strive to be blameless of spirit.

Blameless... it's a word you don't hear much in this day and age.  No one really wants to grow up and be blameless.  Savvy, clever, powerful, influential, perhaps, but you rarely hear aspirations to be blameless, pure, wholesome, righteous, holy, sober.  

Another day, I sit on my big chair again, getting ready for the day.  I read my Bible... I wander around in II Peter.  I land at a passage from chapter three...

But, beloved, do not forget this one thing; that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years and a thousand years as one day.  The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is long suffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.  But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night, in which the heavens will pass away with a great noise, and the elements will melt with fervent heat; both the earth and the works that are in it will be burned up.

Therefore, since all these things will be dissolved, what manner of persons ought you to be in holy conduct and godliness, looking for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be dissolved, being on fire, and the elements will melt with fervent heat?

Nevertheless we, according to His promise, look for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells. 

Therefore, beloved, looking forward to these things, be diligent to be found by Him in peace, without spot and blameless.

If we didn't think Christ was coming at all, it might be important to concentrate on being clever and getting ahead of the next guy; but since we do, "what manner of persons ought you to be in holy conduct and godliness, looking for and hastening the coming of the day of God...?"

Time is short; it's the invisible that matters, I remind myself so many times a day.  Life can be dark; but Christ is Light and always Victor in the end. Since the end will be sooner rather than later, we should look forward to the Great Victory of His return, being diligent 'to be found by Him in Peace, without spot and blameless.'

That He (Jesus) might sanctify and cleanse it (the church) with the washing of the water of the Word.  That He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it would be holy and without blemish.  (Eph. 5:26,27)

A blameless soul needs no concealers.

I like to write notes to myself, if you haven't noticed.  I keep this one by my vanity table to help me remember that nothing is hidden from the Light.

-I cleaned my room today, this fine Saturday.  Every time I clean it, afterwards I decide that there simply is no other room to have but a clean room and of course I will keep it like that from 'this day forward'. But then.... all the books that I am in the middle of reading or want to read start accumulating.  The lesson I'm planning for some girls group or another is becoming the foundation for a paper-pile.  There's a pile of material and a pattern that sits, because I determine that that week I'm going to tackle it, but no time today.  My sister drops mail in my room that needs to be gone through.  My stationary gets left out because I'm in the middle of writing notes to people.  The books and notebook for my herbal course are left out, so I won't forget to study.  The same goes for the music theory course I'm working on.  Piano music that I need or want to play is sitting out.  Bobby pins and hair clips get scattered here and there.  And did I mention that I have a bad habit of leaving my shoes around?  Picking up after myself is such a chore.  Keeping my room uncluttered and neat is a struggle for me, it always has been (I would blame it on temperament, but it's really just a matter of diligence, I think).  It's a besetting sin that I have to constantly fight against.  I've improved a lot, but I still have to work on it.  I know the biggest problem is that I constantly have so many projects going on at once, but I've really just got to do better.   Anyway, I'm enjoying the fruits of my labor right now- an orderly, fresh and clean room.  :)  I asked the Lord to please give me the energy (I've been low energy as I've been trying to get well, so annoying!) to help me get things in order today- and He did!  He cares about these things, you know? 

-One of my main battles in life is against accumulative stacks of paper and clutter.  At least it feels that way sometimes.

-Chai Sweet Coconut Thai decaf   tea is a wonderful way to end the day.  Especially if you add cream and honey.

-I gave our new kitten a bath today.  She is currently planning a diabolical plan to get revenge on me tonight while I'm sleeping, I just know.  I could tell the way she looked at me, squinted her eyes and pinned her ears down as I blowdried her fur, that she wasn't about to let this disgrace go unpunished.  She already tries to eat our fingers off as it is; it's probably just the beginning.  I told Lea that perhaps if we tried and raised her like a dog, and named her "Puppy", she would act like one.  Lea wisely pointed out that the problem is that she is 110% cat.  Perhaps even more than the average purring fur friend.  As a matter of fact, while I write this, she is running around my room, pouncing on anything and everything, and if I allowed her, she would be taking bites out of my feet.  We try blowing in her face to train her not to bite, but pretty soon you start feeling like what ol' Methusala might feel like trying to blow out his birthday candles; it just makes her more determined to take a bite out of us.  But, all in all, we really do love her.  Really, I do.  Sometimes grace comes in the form of a stray kitten, and that's what she has been in so many ways... grace for the journey. 

"I am loved and I know it.

Biting people wears a body out.

we're debating between calling her "Marilla" or "Scout", still.
Marilla the Hun