Tuesday, August 9, 2011

14DayChallenge: concluding with yet more late-night randomness.

-Today I swam in our new above ground pool with my sisters, and my grandma too.  Suddenly, we were all little girls again, splashing around out in the country in our above ground pool, just like we'd done so many times before, long time ago.  I behaved better, usually, back then... today I was a perfect terror, I admit; I teased, and splashed people, stuck my foot in a face or two just to annoy (it's really easy to do when you're floating around on a princess-print float), brought the pool ladder to the middle of the pool when a sister got out, so she had to climb the pool-wall to get back in, sang songs, and then teased some more.  I can only blame it on the fact that my disney princess float made me feel 10 years old again.  Really, it was very immature behavior (so a sister informed me).  Sometimes one of those outrageous moods come upon me, but it's usually after I've had too much coffee and not enough sleep... today, I think it was just because of the sheer joy of re-living memories.  It's good to be 10 years old again sometimes.  Really good.

-I have two books on time management that I would very much like to read.  If only I could find the time. I'm sure it would help me to get to the bottom of my to-do list more often.

-A favorite quote:  A few friends and I were talking about moisturizers recently (I'm realizing that those sorts of convos become more frequent when you're closer to 30 than not), and my dear single friend Mirren piped up and said, "Well, I just see it as a part of  obeying what the Bible says about 'loving you husband all the days of you life.'"   ha!

-This nightly writing has started to become a habit.  I've completed my write-every-day-for-two-weeks challenge as of today.  As I said yesterday, the few but favorite bloggers that have cheered me on have been simply peachy (my client told me I was peachy the other day and I took it as a great compliment- I hope you will do the same) as I've blogged about nearly anything and everything.

I used to blog.. a lot... back in the xanga days... I loved knitting words together into a post.  And then, life became a fast roller coaster ride for a two or three years, and then finally plunged me down to a place that I lost any gumption to even want to write.  I was exhausted on all levels and burnt out from doing too much; I'd lost my business I'd started and poured my life, money, blood, sweat, and tears into; then, a relationship I treasured was very painfully and abruptly removed, and then the same person did the proverbial 'knife twist' a couple of months later.  I was beyond tired and felt I had nothing worth writing about.  But the Lord has brought restoration to my heart, and I am more in love with Jesus than ever, which is I'm sure why He allowed it all to happen.  Not that I still don't have trials, or things that still sting about all that; I do... but I am so glad I went through it all.  There is more to say about my spiritual winter, but this is enough I think for now.  I have learned the great blessing and gift of trials. Anyway, that was a very long rabbit-trailish way of saying that this getting back into the writing-habit is good and long in coming.  I still think what I usually write about is random and ridiculous, but at least, I feel, unlike Facebook where you are bombarded with details of people's lives, whether you like it or not, people can choose to read or not to read, and I don't have to worry about feeling like I'm wasting their time by putting it in their face.  I can be boring in my own little corner of the world wide web and not worry about it.  ;)     (I'm sure I don't know why I wrote all that tonight, about my little trials... I hadn't planned to... perhaps, one day, someone will read this that is going through a very dark winter where the Lord seems to be absent... and perhaps they will be reminded that Jesus is with them, and has a purpose for it for He promised that He will be with you always.)

-I am thankful for:  .... the fact that the Lord puts up with so much from me!  really, He is so patient and longsuffering with me.  and I'm so slow to extend that same grace to others many times!  what a blessing...  nighttime stillness and quiet... sunshine... grace... stamina to run The Race...

-Tonight, may you "rest your hope fully on the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ." (1 Pet. 1:13) Goodnight and until the next time...


ChrissyW said...

Hi - Just stumbled across your blog, through someone else who has your link on HER blog, and wanted to say how much I'm enjoying reading it.

Some things you mentioned in this post remind me of the personal blog I've been thinking of starting: "In the Midst of Winter ..." - a blog of encouragement for those who are going through difficult times.

I also admire how bold you are in sharing your faith with others through your blog. Looking forward to reading more of your posts!

- Chris

Ryan said...

You never really love something, or someone, until you have sacrificed for it. When it comes right down to the wire, the one thing that you choose against all human wisdom to cling to, that is what you truly love. It not only reveals the love that is already there, but causes it to grow. It is a reflection, not a light of it's own, but there is no shame in that if you happen to be a mirror. Which we are.

"For this is love, not that we loved God, but that He first loved us."

Marianna said...

Hi Chis! Thank you so much for your comment- I am honored by your visit! I appreciate your kind words very much. I think "In the Midst of Winter" would make a wonderful title for a blog! If you create one, I hope to follow it. :)

Ryan, I always really enjoy your comments. You are quite right... when everything else is stripped away, our true love is revealed and then strengthened. And we can only love Him, because He fist loved us... we can only be light, because like the moon, we reflect the sun/Son. All that to say, I quite agree! :)

Amelia said...

I hope you don't stop blogging Marianna. I love reading your blogs...

That is so funny you all playing in the pool yesterday, so funny! It reminds me of when you were in a mischievious mood the time we tried to do a tea party and you were holding the teapot up pouring the tea in your mouth. : P (I told on you!) LOL

On breaking off and the knife turning...It reminds me of the Sara Groves song, "What I Thought I Wanted"...Who would have thought though? I don't know what it's been lately. I. Just. Don't. Know. I think it's God's mercy ultimately, He knows and knew what was needed to severe something that could have been very detrimental to your life!

I do know this God sees the end and it is good. HE is Just and He is Faithful and he knows the end of the story. It will be a good ending and beginning I assure you! That goes doubly and triply for me too. There are days when I do believe people have gone mad,things just don't make sense and people who are supposed to love the Lord behave like enemies.

On those days I hold on to Jesus and may I say our little dogs look all the sweeter on those days?

He is the Life Giver. If we never went through a dark valley we would never know the Light. If we never suffered hurt we would never understand others' hurts. If we never felt like a lifeless zombie we would never understand that in others and would be prideful insensitive schmucks.

It's still just not easy sometimes I know. As you know, I know.

Once again, I hope you keep blogging.

Love, Mom

Marianna said...

Oh dear, Mom, you DID tell on me! I might add for any observing readers that that was a LONG time ago... like last month at least... ha! JK- it really was a very long time ago... lol... I really don't know what makes me get in such moods though... y'all put up with a lot from me. :P

Yes- it is EXACTLY like that song. God knows allll things and He is faithful to protect.

It's so true- we never would know the beauty of brokenness if we never had to walk the dark valleys of life. Even that part of God's plan is beautiful. Thank you for your encouragement. <3

And thanks for cheering me on with blogging... if I will ever stay home long enough this week I will try to stay on top of this new endeavor. :P See you later tonight!

Beloved's Bride said...

I hope you keep blogging too. Us gals need to encourage each other in the Lord. And, unlike facebook,blogging seems to really get to the heart of the matter, for me it keeps me focus on the season in which I am in. With your Mom's and Your encouraging posts, I am starting to shift my blog on Sundays to being about me and the Lord. I think it is time to open up a little. I will eventually post one of those letters to my Children. Just can't decide which one! lol

I am so glad you had some fun with your sister in the pool. You are so blessed to have such spunk and them not actually clobbering you! :)

And, I loved your time management comment! It had me giggle out loud!

Marianna said...

I agree! I've always struggled with really *enjoying* facebook, like I did/do blogging. I look forward to seeing your Sunday posts, if you do them! and one of those letters! ;)

You are right... my sisters really do put up with a lot from me!!

haha! Well, I finally started the book... I just hope I make the time to finish it...!