The Musings of Marianna

Today was one of my girls group meetings, the one I meet with monthly.  It was a very small group today, lots out of town for summer.  They are such unique and precious girls... and they all seem to love the Lord very much.  God's grace was so sufficient, as always.  I felt scatter brained and not focused, but He was strong despite that weakness.

I hate it when I'm fixing to speak to a group and I feel unfocused.  I used to hate a lot of things about my ability to lead the monthly group I call Vessels of Honor (2 Tim 2:20-22);  I would study for the lesson and waves of inability would crash over me, over and over again and I'd feel the entire part of a failure even before I began.  Getting the bible study lesson, the home ec lesson, and the house ready was so overwhelming sometimes and my abilities were/are so small compared to the task.  Yet, I knew it was a task I was called to.  I expressed this in an email to a group of praying friends once, my friend Ryan replied with some invaluable advice  (Ryan just wrote two very good books, btw!  www.themanwhowouldbeknight.com ).  In a nutshell, he kindly but honestly told me that I shouldn't despise my weaknesses, but I should be thankful for them, because our weaknesses are opportunities for God's strength to be shown.  That was the beginning of a years long lesson about learning to be grateful for my shortcomings, inconveniences, and lack- all are an opportunity for grace to abound.  A new weakness to boast in, so God's strength might be showcased.  Abiding in Him is nothing more than total dependance (to a branch, abiding has the simple meaning of utter and complete dependance on the Vine- Jn. 15).  Dependance, that is one of the main roots of Christian life, perhaps the root.  Dependent on Christ in every weakness and in every trial.  Now, when I'm struggling with my lesson, a bad day, circumstances beyond my control, getting lost while driving (this happens to me a lot), (etc etc) or even the stubbornness of my own heart, I simply tell the Lord, it's so obvious that I can do nothing without You; You've promised to be strong in my weakness, so please be strong in this weakness.    And He always comes through.  Now I thank Him for my weakness or trouble, so He can be strong on my behalf; and besides, there is no room for pride in the heart of an utterly dependent person.  It's such a restful way to live. It really is 'tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.'

Now that I've rambled about that (unexpectedly), I'm sure I'll probably be tested severely in it this week.  Oh dear.  That's what always seems to happen. ha.  Oh well, no matter- more opportunities to see the Lord work, right?!  of course right!  ;)

Today I am thankful for:  grace for the meeting today, despite a brain that felt out of focus... beautiful clouds across the huge Texas blue sky... the fact that one day Jesus is going to come through the clouds!... an opportunity to share with the girls today about the invisible things that are most important...  a kitten asleep in my lap at this moment... one of "my" girls that I'd prayed so hard for, she's doing so so well with Jesus now...  those who are staying on the straight and narrow road; it seems more and more rare these days...  realizing that one of the hardest things you've dealt with in your life was one of the biggest blessings- not only because of the character building experience of trials, but that He was protecting through the severing...
 for this song:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XTO4WiP8Bw  it sums it all up so well...

now with patience in our suffering
perseverance in our prayers
with good reason this hope is in our hearts

hallelujah hallelujah
Christ our joy and strength

...for good reason joy is in our hearts...

Yes, and amen.  Goodnight and may God's peace and joy be with you.